A bit of a whinge

Yesterday I received an e-mail from one of my closest friends in Belgium whose life couldn't be more different from my own at the moment. While I'm an unemployed student-on-leave with heaps of time on her hands she's trying to juggle a newborn baby, a stressful job as a lawyer and the building of her & her husband's first house! Children and real estate are not yet things on my To Do-list but the e-mail did make me contemplate my life here, and how I could use my days more efficiently. Don't ask me why I feel this burning need to contribute something to society or why I feel guilty for not being 'productive'; I blame it on my Catholic background! A month ago I felt excited & hopeful about the new paths I could enter during this three-month study break but so far all the balloons I've let up have popped: internship at UN Habitat denied (no need for extra staff at the moment), job hunting unsuccessful due to lack of Japanese language skills & foreign volunteer trips impossible because of dire financial situation. There's lots to keep me entertained though, like road trips with friends (a blog entry on that will come soon), a 10-day visit to Tokyo in December and many warm, cozy nights with my beloved watching 'Grey's Anatomy' or 'Lost' (two shows I've recently developed a slight addiction for). Yet while all these activities are loads of fun I can't help but feel that on the professional level I could be more 'useful'. I'd love to experience first-hand what I've been studying this year so offers from Oxfam, Foster Parents International, Habitat for Humanity or the UN are always welcome :-).

NOTE: some readers (one family member in particular) seemed to interpret this entry in a dramatic light, believing that I'm in the midst of an existential identity crisis or on the verge of a depression. I guess that shows how careful a blogger should be about writing personal stuff because misconceptions occur easily. For the record, all is well, I'm a solid 8/10 on the Happiness Scale, especially because I recently received my graded Master assignments and got two A-'s and an A+: hoorah!